How Raven-Symoné Is Effing Up The Light-Skin Revolution

How Raven-Symoné's Is Effing Up The Light-Skin Revolution

The fact that I have to copy and paste “é” to get the accent mark on top of the “e” is a ghetto-name problem in and of itself. But, here it goes…

Beyoncé, Barack, Condoleezza, Oprah and Shaquille are all unemployable according to Raven (hyphenated) Symoné (pronounced Simone). Look. I’m not going to go through a list of reasons why Raven (hyphenated) Symoné is wrong. We all know she is, and there are (and will be) a plethora of think pieces dragging Ms. Raven (accent on top of “e”) Symoné, schooling her about discrimination and what it means. Yet, somehow, I don’t think a person who’s from every CONTINENT in Africa and Europe (except for one) will fully understand. After being ignored for over 20 years, I’m more concerned with how Ms. “I’m not African-American/I don’t believe in labels/my roots are in Louisiana” Symoné’s actions are impacting the light-skin community and their recent rise back into the limelight.

This year the African-American community (if you don’t mind labels) was willing to proclaim 2015 “The Year of the Return of the Light-Skin.” With only two and a half months left within the year, the African-American community is questioning whether or not its true, thanks to Raven Symoné. Here are six light-skin moments that are now being questioned:

Steph Curry Winning The 2015 NBA Championship

You know what. Forget Steph Curry. We all know this victory for the LSC (light-skin community) was more about Riley Curry than Steph. She has to be the most spirited and entertaining little girl we’ve seen since Raven Symoné/Olivia memes. Now, the LSC has shifted its focus from the Curry’s to the PR nightmare that is Raven Symoné. Riley, we wish you and your family luck. Basketball season is around the corner. We hope to see you eclipse Olivia soon…just as long as Raven Symoné doesn’t say anything else stupid this year.

Al B. Sure Finally Getting To Be UnSung

The Light-Skin King, Al. B. Sure, has finally received his just due. He was honored on TV One‘s show about has-beens, UnSung. After acting in this year’s successful independent movie, Dope, the throne was confirmed and prepared for his son, Quincy. However, Quincy now has to pass a strenuous aptitude test to confirm his blackness. #ThanksRaven

A White Woman Named Rachel Dolezal Passing As A Light-Skin Black Woman

There’s not a more fulfilling feeling than to see a white woman of Czech, German and Swedish descent (the epitome of whiteness) not only wanting to be and proclaiming to be black, but who’s also down for the cause. Hopefully, the Black Delegation will be able to trade Raven for Rachel Dolezal in the next racial draft. We’re crossing our fingers.

Trevor Noah And Larry Willmore’s Late Night Success

Late night television has been looking a little bit more brown lately. With the oh so swanky Trevor Noah and the nerdy Larry Wilmore taking over their former white cohorts’ job (when have you ever read that in a sentence?), Monday will be a puzzling night for these comedians. Should they ignore Raven’s ignorance and her red bundles purchased from an Instagram hair boutique called Shanaynay’s Virgin Bundles simply because of her complexion? Or is Ms. Symoné fair game? This is all a distraction by the man to keep the LSC from uniting. #ThanksAgainRaven

Luscious Getting Out of Jail on Empire

Luscious just left jail. I have a feeling that Raven will show up ready for her child support and firing everyone with a ghetto ass name. Becky, you and your two-toned blonde hair is safe…unless your government is really Beckymelondrea.

Drake MeekMilling Meek Mill


I think it’s safe to designate Drake as the reason the LSC is winning right now. The man has inspired a new verb (meekmilling) with cosigns from global brands and Canadian politicians. He is the first rapper to have a mixtape go platinum and is rumored to be engaged to Serena Williams. If there’s anyone who can overshadow Raven Symoné’s recent snafus, it would be him…and maybe Barack Obama. (But Barack has other things to worry about.)

Hopefully, the LSC will be able to continue their revolution. They’re just getting over Don Lemon and previous Raven Symoné snafus. LSC, we wish you the best. Good luck.

why yall drag #RavenSymone like this? LMAO

A photo posted by barry b (@butrose) on