Petition Against Kardashian Breaking The Internet: “I’m Suing Her Greasy A**”

Kim Kardashian Petition

Kim Kardashian has broken the Internet. And now there’s a petition demanding she fixes it.

Many have seen Kim’s glistening ass-sets as Paper Magazine demanded the middle Kardashian to break the Internet. Many voiced that “no one cares.” However, before we knew it, Kim’s polished derriere was trending on every social network. At the time, scientist and assologist predicted that Kim’s shapely hammocks were not big enough to break the Internet. Assologist David Purdue proclaimed that there was “more than enough bandwidth for everyone to briefly see Kim’s corn muffins.”

But what many didn’t know was that Kim had more than her glazed donuts to bare. She also lathered up her melons and pulassie for all to see too. After one hour, the Internet crashed, causing many to complain and petition. Rhonda Watkins exclaimed, “I’m running late on paying my MetroPCS bill. If I get a late fee, I’m suing her greasy ass!” Over 1,000 Instagram “models” have signed the petition also. Instagram “model” @coochie2wet lamented, “I’ve been twerking and poppin’ my coochie on Instagram for 10 likes, and now this b&%#h moisturize her skin with some extra virgin olive oil and crashes the Internet. My Internet service is bundled. I’m missing Scandal for this bullsh!t.”

Even Comcast has commented on Kim Kardashian breaking the Internet. They tweeted, “Net neutrality Kim’s ass. If only, Kim paid for faster bandwith. #BreakTheInternet” SHADE!

The petition needs 10,000 signatures before the White House pays any attention to it. Stay tuned as we report its progress. If you would like to sign the petition, click here.

Kim Kardashian Coffee Break