N__s is out here really hurt for Issa. And I’m not sure why.
Beware that the below is an assessment of the characters’ Issa (Issa Rae, no relation to LisaRaye) and Lawrence (Jay Ellis) from HBO’s phenomenal Insecure. Just to give you a brief background, she cheated. Issa cheated. And she cheated on a good Black man. The fact that she cheated isn’t a big deal. Women cheat every day. The fact that she cheated on a good Black man isn’t a big deal. Good Black men get cheated on a regular basis—more than an annual check up. This isn’t a big deal. However, the fact that Lawrence broke it off with Issa and sought physical “consolation” from supportive Chase Bank bae seems to have sparked a barrage of unnecessary thinkpieces and assessments pontificating that Lawrence isn’t that much of a catch let alone a good man. Here are reasons why Lawrence is a good mad and Issa still ain’t shit.
You don’t get a cookie for being supportive girlfriend. Everyone is hurt because Lawrence left Issa to pursue hot steaming relations with more supportive bae. But was Issa really that supportive? Let’s be real. Issa may have been paying bills, but she wasn’t pouring that much into Lawrence. For the majority of the season, she wasn’t quite sure if she wanted Lawrence. In fact, for a brief period she actually wanted to breakup with him. (In her mind, she already did at some point.) Her support came as a compromise later in their relationship after a failed attempt of sparking a relationship with Daniel. It was after noticing that suave fuccboi was what he was, a fuccboi, that she realized what she had at home. Her support was a reaction to being turned down.
Good men are not their financial status. Many of these thinkpieces are painting Lawrence as a man with no ambition and no future. This is far from the truth. If you’ve been paying attention, Lawrence has a degree, an app he’s been working, and he obviously has an active bank account. In fact, I wouldn’t be shocked if he has a substantial savings. How I know? He kind of reminds me of myself and other black men of millennial age who are on the path of being self-made. Many of us don’t have daddy money, and the recession hit us hard for years. After having the world beat up on us, most men don’t want to be beat up in a relationship. If you see us in a rut, we want our confidant to motivate us and to not treat us like chore. Your support should come naturally because you love us, not as a benefit to our relationship. Either way, Lawrence was going to get his regardless because he’s smart. He was just stuck.
You want a catch. Be a catch. Let’s not pretend like Issa had her shit all the way together. She wasn’t quite sure what she wanted in not only her love life but also in her career. She wimps out every time things get hard. She’s what I call a mountain peak girlfriend. She’s only jovial when things are on the up and up. When she’s in the valley, she punks out. Issa hated her job and the people she worked with. The only time she was excited about it was when things started going well for her at the fundraiser. Women who are catches know what they want. Lawrence knows what he wants. He’s just don’t know how to get it.
He has a right to lose his way and find it again. What I love about this show is that there’s no obvious saint or villain. (Shade to Tyler Perry.) Throughout the season, we see Issa and Molly constantly making mistakes in their personal and professional lives. I’m willing to give Lawrence that same opportunity. His indiscretion in attempting to get sloppy toppy from stripper/prostitute bae was tew mut. And he may be wrong for working out his frustration on bank teller bae instead of giving himself time to heal (which has no baron on his relationship with Issa because at that point it was over). But he deserves the right to make his mistakes just as well as Molly and Issa.
My closing argument. She cheated.
— Tristan (@AyoTristan) November 28, 2016