Christmas music is like eggnog. The thought of slowly cooking egg yolks, milk and sugar may sound noxious, but bring me some warm, salmonella-infested milk and figgy pudding (whatever the heck that is), and my Christmas spirit is high. Yet, listening to the tritest Christmas song on the radio ad nauseam is bound to turn any Santa into a Scrooge.
Christmas music puts me in a festive mood (even if my bank account doesn’t). But not “Let It Snow.” Confession, I’m not the biggest Boyz II Men fan. They represent everything that is wrong with 90s R&B, and 90s R&B was right a lot of times. You see, I’m more of a Jodeci fan. Not because I’m a bad boy by any means. In fact, I’m definitely more clean cut like the four boyz men that sing doo-wop pop pop.
So, what’s wrong with five grown ass men signing “Let It Snow”? Well, grown ass men shouldn’t sing about precipitation period. I mean really…is singing about snow an euphemism for getting something else wet? You know Brian McKnight has a doctorate in making that pulassie squirt. Seriously, listen to the lyrics. “When our bodies meet / I don’t care about the weather.” “I want to wrap you up baby / Maybe then you’ll see you’re the only present I need.” BOY IF YOU DON’T GETCHO… These hittas then turned Jesus’ birthday as a plan to get in them draws. Did I really just put the words “hittas,” “Jesus” and “draws” in one sentence? Now, you see how much of a conflict of intent this really is. I’m pretty sure someone still puts this song on their Bedroom Boom Spotify playlist any season.
But this is not Boyz II Men and Brian McKnight’s only offense. Besides spelling the word “boys” with a z, their singing is the reason Christ Stokes commissioned Omarion to be a lead vocalist instead of a background dancer for B2K. Singing as many notes as you can every millisecond of a song is annoying, especially when you’re singing through your nose. This was a major flaw in 90s R&B. Full-throat male singers of the 90s were few and in between. I need some growling and moaning a la Johnny Gill, K-Ci & JoJo, etc. Not no whiny nasal runs. “Let It Snow” embodies the technique of holding your nose while singing, begging “Baby, baby please baby please.”
My last stance is that it overshadows more worthy Christmas songs. Sure, there are other Christmas songs that I enjoy hearing on the daily, like The Emotions’ “What Do the Lonely Do at Christmas,” The Temptation’s “Silent Night” and even Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas Is You.” But there are other songs that should get way more play than “Let It Snow” like:
- “I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus” by The Jackson 5
- “Santa Clause Is a Black Man” by Akim & Teddy
- “Santa Close Go Straight to the Ghetto” By James Brown
- The entire Christmas album by Kirk Franklin
- And “Rudy, The Big Booty Reindeer” by Big Freedia
There’s a lot more to be joyful about this Christmas than some snow.