In case you haven’t heard, Ben Carson freestyled on you heauxes this week. The problematic Republican presidential candidate decided that he needed the young Negro vote. What better way to reach that audience than through some hippity hop music? Here’s why Ben Carson has solidified his position in my top 5 favorite rappers of all time. (Lucious Lyon, come sign ya boy already.)
I can actually decipher what he’s saying.
Unlike Future, Rich Homie Quan, and Young Thugga Thugga, I can actually understand Ben Carson’s lyrics. It’s nice to hear someone rap in a slow, monotone voice. I can hear the bullshit he’s saying.
His flow harks back to a time when Lil Romeo was the Prince of Rap.
Back in the day, when I was a baby THOT and a No Limit Souljah, my favorite rapper was Lil Romeo. He was such a prolific rapper. Now, I can relive the early 00s through Ben Carson’s rap flow. #BringBackRealHipHop
My night time Ambien now has a beat to it.
I’ve made an effort to download all of Ben Carson’s speeches. His voice is so soothing. And even though the content of his speeches are deplorable, it still helps me fall asleep faster than a whispering Janet Jackson could ever. Now, his voice is to a beat. God is good!
Every time Ben Carson speaks… *insert sleep emoji* pic.twitter.com/QpO9zUo9FX
— Negus SugarcaneSlim (@CypressMoss) November 6, 2015
He’s an imaginative GANGSTA!
When Julius Caesar was stabbed. I said, "Let's rush them, they can't kill us both" & we did, and they only killed him. #bencarsonwikipedia
— Andrew James Gregor (@andrewjgregor) November 6, 2015
Here are my top five rappers:
- Andre 3000 (He shall never be dethroned.)
- Ben Carson (See the above explanation.)
- Kanye West (I don’t want no beef with Mr. West.)
- Notorious B.I.G. & Tupac (I don’t want no beef with any of y’all for choosing one over the other.)
- Lil Romeo (No explanation necessary.)
Ben & Candy Carson. The new Bey & Jay.