Let me tell you a story. The barbershop is the place where ideas swarm, from the hotep-ian and bizarre work of Tariq Pee-Peed to the great philosophical work of Big Neitzsche (no Larry Hover). Ideas vary from the purely foolish to the very necessary. Normally, I try my best to keep my opinions to myself, especially while in the chair. (You never know what the outcome will be. You can end up on with a 1999 Boosie fade or in a fist fight.) So, after waiting for Bibby, my barber, to get my fade tight, he tries to spark conversation. “It’s Martin Luther King weekend. You have any plans for the weekend,” he asked. “Nah, I’m resting.” He then yelled, “Martin Luther King is a BIIIIITTTTCCCHHH!” The remaining hairs on my neck rose as I tried to stay calm. “How the fizzuck are you in living the birthplace of Martin Luther King disrespecting the man’s legacy while you benefit from it?” He went on talking about how George Soros wrote MLK’s “I Have a Dream” speech and how he set his people up by leading them into a “burning house,” a misconstrued interpretation of Dr. King’s last days. I left without giving a tip. And I spent the whole night contemplating. Should I continue to patronize his business? If I tried a new barber, I’d probably end up in the same circumstance. But worse—with a jacked-up fade.
Dear Tom Steyer,
I see your billion-dollar ads for impeachment, and I’m intrigued. What’s your motive? I know that you’re a smart business man and an environmental activist. Sure, there are other billionaires whose motives range from pure to illumanatic. And avoiding the George Soros conspiracy theories, you’ve taken a front-facing approach with a crystal-clear motive – impeachment. But why?
We live in a world of fabricated-fake outrage that is only appeased with more fabricated news or conciliatory prizes. The current president can tweet just about anything. Pocahontas is kneeling while burning a flag. Roy Moore isn’t as bad as R. Kelly. Tiffany Trump is my favorite child. All tall tales that suck us into Trump’s vortex of lies and deceit. And if we’re not distracted by a tweet, we’re distracted by the ongoing Russian investigation wishing, hoping, praying and conducting a séance, summoning the ancestors for any sign of impeachment. Yet, as always Black people find ourselves playing defense instead of offence with a strong strategy. And what are we left with? Temporary progress.
Full disclosure. I probably should read at least one Ta Nehisi Coates book. To the best of my knowledge, my first introduction to him was through Very Smart Brothers, as they delicately “dissected” him for being pretentiously loquacious in his writings. And like Panama Jackson, I have no desire to pay my money to read about something I already know.
Still nigga. Black people and capitalism has always and will probably forever have a tainted relationship. Our existence in America is the foundation for what makes capitalism great and what makes it a sin. Our ancestors were brought to this land because of free labor and production. It was the same motivation for why Africans sold us. As humans became barter for trade, this was the beginning of capitalism. (A painful history many of us want to ignore.) However, the color of our skin wasn’t the motivation for why our African owners chose to sale us as human capital. Race became an issue to justify and separate people of European descent from Black people and to further dehumanize us. Capitalism didn’t start racism. It fueled racism. But can capitalism end racism?
In case, you’ve been living under a rock. Atlanta is had a bit of a traffic nightmare. On March 30, I was riding home, and took the exit to I-85 N. Right, when I was about to pass the exit for Buford Hwy, traffic came to a halt. What appeared to be smoke coming from a car quickly blew into a whole fire causing the bridge to collapse. First, I thanked God that the cars ahead of me were at a halt, stumping my courage to pass through the smoke. Second, I was curious about what was the cause of the fire.
“When they go low, we go high.” These words spoken by our magnificent first lady became the unofficial mantra of the Democratic campaign for 2017. It’s meaning—to fly far above the fray, dust the dirt off your shoulders, and to not grovel with the swine of the earth. However, there’s a missing part to this statement. Yes, First Lady Michelle, in all of her grace and poise, beckoned us to take the high road. Yet, Michelle LaVaugn Robinson would have added, “After they go low, do a Bruce Lee leap in the air and chin check them with a kick to the face…in self-defense of course.” This is the mentality Democrats need to take on—taking the High Road, but willing to take a sharp left at These Legislative Hands Ave.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to honor the dearly departed Nicki Minaj’s rap career. After seven days of brain damage, Nicki Minaj’s rap career went on to glory. Let’s celebrate her run as the Queen of Rap before her career transitions on to pop stardom Glory Greens with Iggy Azalea’s.
Last year was the year all of the world’s beloved was like, “Yo, I’m out.” The Ls we took include losing Prince, Muhammed Ali and of course, America. 2017 was with the shits too. George Michael saw the foolishness that was coming and decided to BREXIT. There was no reason to not think that there would be more. This is why Moonlight’s wins at the Oscars gave solace that 2017 may not be as bad after all.
Does 45 need prayers? Yes. Do I need to pray for him? Eh…I guess. Prayer warriors are being solicited right now for a prayer service for 45. But somehow, I don’t think a prayer circle will change the heart of a 70-year-old fart set in his ways. Maybe a deliverance service? Yet, I’m sure VP Mike Pence tried a little “shock therapy,” and that still hasn’t worked. Even if God miraculously changed the heart of 45, it still wouldn’t make him a competent leader. So, why do Christian leaders like Donnie McClurkin and Tina Campbell of Mary Mary keep asking me to pray for him?